I often think of Rich Mullins, the musician, and wonder how much we are a like. Of course, I have no musical skills what so ever, but the words of his songs stir something in me. I hope he has all the answeres to his struggles now that he is with God in heaven. I wonder if that was God’s answer to his longings. It comforts me in my struggles to know I am not alone in the thoughts I have. Even now as I am feeling much more sure of my faith than at other times in my life, I still think back to this song and what it has meant and still does for me. I often wonder what God is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. I often wonder why he doesn’t give me more clean direction in my life. I wonder why he does what he does, and doesn’t do what he doeosn’t do. But that is why He is God and I am not.
Hard to Get by Rich Mullins
You who live in heaven, hear the prayers of those us who live on earth. Who are afraid of being left by those we love and who get hardened by the hurt Do you remember when you lived down here where we all scrape to find the faith to ask for daily bread Did you forget about us after you had flown away Well I memorized every word you said Still I’m so scared I’m holding my breath While you’re up there just playing hard to get
You who live in radiance- hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin We have a love that’s not as patient as yours was but still we do love now and then Did you know loneliness- did you ever know need Do you remember just how long a night can get When you are barely holding on and your friends fall asleep And don’t see the blood that’s running in your sweat Will those who mourn be left uncomforted While you’re up there just playing hard to get
I know you bore our sorrows I know you feel our pain I know that it would not hurt any less even if it could be explained I know that I am only lashing out at the one who loves me most And after I have figured this, somehow all I really need to know is if
You who live in eternity hear the prayers of those of us who live in time We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free of what we’ve left behind I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret I can’t see how you’re leading me unless you’ve led me here Where I’m lost enough to let myself be led And so, you’ve been here all along I guess It’s just your ways and you are just plain hard to get.