I just need to voice my frustrations. I feel like I have a backward ministry. See, most people who I minister to, come into my ministry better off then when they leave. I see them before they have started drinking, and having sex, and cursing, and sneeking around behind their parents back. Then they spend 3-7 years under my influence and leave having done all those things. While I’m not saying it’s my fault, the reality is that I can’t see the fruits of my labor. I just want God to throw me a bone once in a while.
It’s not that I don’t think it’s a valuable minitry. It’s just that you can’t measure prevention. You work in a drug rehab and you can measure your success. 100 people came in with an addiction. 75 have sobered up and are clean one year later. Results. Teachers can say that there kids came in not knowing algebra, or how to read, or whatever, and after one year have learned that skill. Doctors cure people, etc. But how do you measure how many things a kid didn’t do that they would have done if it wasn’t for your work. And the things that we are trying to increase, like love, and service and compassion, are hard to measure.
10 years of ministry and I have seen more heart aches then victories, and more brokeness then healing. I know we live in a broken world, but some days it’s harder to see the hope. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, don’t get me wrong. Who else gets to watch chick flicks, drink tea and eat chocolate all in the name of ministry. Who else gets to be the first to hear the good news that someone got asked to the prom. Or share God’s mercy on someone in tears. I will take this ministry even if I never get that bone. I suppose that’s why I was given this. But a bone would be nice.